To Glimpse A World Of Heaven
by James MacGowann
Summary: Jack contemplates the Quantum Mirror as the world around him falls apart. He's lost the one he loves. Will he go through and see what he finds?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue 

Dust fell to the floor. He ignored it. The sounds of battle filled the room from outside. He ignored them too. He ignored the pain, both physical and emotional. He ignored everything. Almost. The Mirror sat in front of him. Facing him. He looked at it, sat atop a table, his hands intertwined under his chin. He wondered. He thought. He considered.

She was dead. Was there any reason she wouldn't be in this one too? Would he spend his life searching the Universes? Or would that cascade thingy take him? Maybe he'd get brought down by Jaffa in another world. Another base… another SGC. But that was it. _Another_ world. Not his, different. The same. Just not so. Would that be true of her? Would she be the same, but not? Would she love him? Would he love who she was?

More sounds from outside. People screaming, dieing, fighting, loosing. The SGC was overrun. Some had fled, most had stayed. So had she. Now she was dead. Lost to him. Forever. _His_ Sam, anyway. There were others. He had met one. Dr. Carter. Married to his counter-part. He smiled. Slightly. It wasn't enough to take away the guilt that filled him. He had seen it. Stood there and watched as she fought. God, she had been brave. The warrior. The fighter.

He shifted. His knee was starting to ache. It was nothing, at least when compared to the gaping wound in his heart. He had loved her, loved her dearly. She had loved him. It would never have worked, though. They would never have let the other resign. Not for them. He sighed again. It was all about to be made moot, anyway. He could hear the battle being waged outside. It was coming to a close. And not the good kind.

Sliding off the table, he moved over. Raising a hand, he looked back at the storage room. Sending a thought out to those who died in their valiant attempt to thwart the take over of Earth, he let his fingertips brush the mirror's surface. He felt oddly nothing. The room was exactly the same, only there was no noise. He walked to the door. Looking out, he saw an empty corridor. No signs of a battle, though.

Stepping outside, he looked left and right. Then heard someone. Turning, he saw her. Blond hair, Military uniform. Whoa… silver eagle on the collar? Full Colonel Samantha Carter? He couldn't quite believe it. She froze. Looking at him with a horrified expression. Had he dumped her for some lab tech in this dimension?

She looked at where he had come from and then smiled faintly. "Jack?" She asked walking up to him, her grin increased when he nodded. "The Mirror?" Another nod. He was surprised by the hug, but hugged back. "Um, Colonel huh?" He asked, unsure where to go form here.

She nodded. "Yeah, um…you best come with me…General Carter will want to fill you in."

Jack blinked at her. "Jacob!?" At her confirming nod, he whistled. "Wow, didn't think Hammond would ever leave." At her look, he frowned. "What? Carter, what is it?"

She swallowed. "There's a lot you need to know…"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter I 

The Briefing Room was exactly as he remembered. The long table, the window looking out into the Gate room. He sat down and looked around. At the moment, only Sam was in the room, dressed in a blue SGC uniform. He felt out of place in green. Boots came running up the stairs, and Jack turned around. He saw the brown hair, the glasses. The book came into sight. "Daniel!"

The man froze a look of surprise on his face. "Oh my… I'm sorry, Colonel Carter did mention you were here, but I never thought…" He blinked and composed himself. "It is you?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah Danny, it's me." He turned to Sam. "Anyway, aren't we supposed to be meeting your father? I hear I have a lot to know."

Daniel sat down next to him and slid the book over to Carter. "Here you go, Colonel."

She grinned like a little girl. "Oooh, thanks, Jackson." She pulled it close and flipped through it, leaving Jack in puzzlement. He was the only one who used the Doctor's surname. Apart from Hammond.

Speaking of which, the older Carter walked in. "Sorry, I was on the phone to the President." Jack looked Jacob over. He was just as he remembered him, only he never expected to actually see the man in uniform; much less the short sleeved one that Hammond preferred. He took note of the stars. One on each shoulder. Brig. General. Jacob sat down and looked at Jack. "Would you like the news fast, or a long explanation?"

Jack blinked. He looked from one Carter, to the next, and then at Daniel. How was he to know what they were talking about? "Uh…fast, I guess."

Jacob nodded. "You're dead. In this reality. You died along with George, and the senior members of the government. They were all wiped out when the Goa'uld attacked Earth. Luckily, we were in talks with the Asgard at the time, and they fought them off." He paused to give Jack a chance to absorb that information. "I was made CO; Sam took your place, with a promotion. Lieutenant Jackson there-"

Jack's head snapped around. "Lieutenant!?" Jackson shrugged.

Jacob pressed on, not wanting to stop now. "Yes, Lieutenant Jackson is Earth's Ambassador to the Tok'ra. Do you know Sel'mac?"

Jack nodded. "We've met… well, you know." He seemed to be taking all this rather well.

Sam smiled at him. "There's something else you should know… something you may not be ready for." She glanced at Jacob, who went into his office for something. "Are you a Jack O'Neill who loved me?"

He was stunned by the question. Of course he was, who else would he– It hit him. Janet… he knew it had been a tough call in his past, and evidently they had encountered some of him who had chosen differently. "It was Janet, wasn't it?"

No one spoke. Jacob came back and sat down. "She's on her way." Jack put his head in his hands. "Of all the ones to pick…" Someone was coming up the stairs. He didn't want to see her. Didn't want to speak to her. Not even if they were married.

Voices were audible. He blocked them out. He was ignoring the world again. Until a hand rested on his shoulder. It was smaller than Janet's. Much smaller. It moved down his arm to his hand. "Daddy?"

That got his attention. Sitting up, he looked at the young girl who stood in front of him. She was about 11, with brown hair, brown eyes, and a confused expression. "Are you Daddy?"

His heart broke. He just sat there. Looking at her. His daughter. Or to be more accurate _his_ daughter. The other him. He didn't know what to say. Anything would be a lie. He looked at Sam, and the tears welled. How could he love her now? How could he? He hugged the girl in front of him and hugged tight. To Jacob, he mouthed one question. 'What's her name?'

Jacob smiled. "It's Charlotte. Most call her… Charlee."

Jack couldn't speak. He just looked at thenm all while hugging her. "Oh…"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter II

It was some hours after the Briefing. Jack was being escorted around the Base. Carter was talking, explaining what they'd done, about the world, the Goa'uld. He wasn't listening. His thoughts were occupied. He had a daughter. Charlee. Daniel was with her now, explaining things so that she could understand. They said she was smart. He shook his head. It was all just too crazy to accept. Was this world so far gone form his own that he could have a daughter with Janet? That Carter could be a full Colonel? He stopped, looking at her.

"Carter. How did you get that rank? I know Jacob said you were promoted, but how? According to all Military normalities, it should be at most half-Colonel." In all his years, he had never heard of a twenty-something Colonel. It just didn't make any sense. How could anyone respect her at that age?

She smiled slightly, and looked at him more. "Jack… May I call you Jack? How old do you think I am?"

He was thrown off. It was an impertinent question. Very impertinent. He answered honestly. "Um, 20…what was it? 27?"

She smiled faintly. "Your Sam may have been. I'm 38. Mark's 25."

Jack blinked. "Your brother Mark? Huh…okay." It still unnerved him. Okay, so she was older, maybe old enough to be a full Colonel in this reality. Their walking had taken them to the doors of the infirmary, and Jack paused, looking at them with some confusion. Was she in there? Was she civilian? Had he retired? Did Frat Regs exist here? All the questions he had were spinning around his mind. He needed answers, and Carter wasn't the one to give them. He took a step towards the double doors, when he felt a hand stopping him.

Looking back, he saw Sam. There were tears in her eyes and it made him pause. "Carter? What's wrong?" He stood next to her, and held her in a hug.

The blond started to cry into his shoulder, holding onto him. "Jack… before you go in there… you should know something… you're not going to like it, trust me. But you have to know." He looked at her waiting. What could it be? Was she dead? He could handle it. Why was she crying like that? "Jack… Janet was… oh God. Okay. The Goa'uld came here about a year ago, that's when you died. They also managed to gain access to this facility. Many died, and several were…" She took a deep breath and calmed down. "We keep her in Security, we tried to keep her in the Infirmary, but she caused too much trouble."

Jack took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. "Carter. What is it? What's so bad about Janet that she needs to be kept in Security?"

"That's just it. She's not Janet."

The words rang in his ears. Good God. Could she mean? He dropped his hands and ran. He needed to get away. To escape. Everywhere he went, death, and things worse followed. It was his curse. His reason to stay alone. He didn't know where he was going, he just ran. Trying to escape the anger that was flooding him. The pain that was filling him. He ran. He didn't stop running. No one stopped him. Not even security.

He needed to escape, to get away. Anywhere would be nice. Anywhere that wasn't the SG Bloody C. He was aching inside. Was it his fault? Of course it was. He had gone through first, gone to Abydos. He had killed Ra, brought the Goa'uld down on Earth. He was responsible for them all. Hammond, Janet… His Sam, everyone who died as a result of either the Stargate or the Goa'uld was on him. He was tired. He wanted out.

Jack carried on going; he didn't stop or turn back. He went on, he knew this place fairly well, and so he could at least try and get somewhere. Maybe have the life he longed for. The life he had before Hammond brought him back. He liked that life, he wanted it now. Now, more than ever.


End file.
